I originally went to my gynecologist in August and she had labs drawn. One of the tests showed my prolactin was high. So, she referred me to an endocrinologist. The earliest I could get in was December. So from August to December, I was getting more and more tired. I honestly thought it was depression or something with my hormones. I was dragggggging. My endocrinologist had labs drawn and just happened to order a renal function panel. This was on December 3, 2018. The test showed my potassium being high - and my creatinine and BUN were extremely high (kidney warriors - you know what those are). She said I can have it re-drawn (mistakes happen) or go to the ER. I chose to have it re-drawn the next morning. Then, I got a phone call on the 4th telling me that I should go to the ER immediately.
Immediately?! I had to go to work! I didn't have sub plans!? Was she crazy? And, since my dog has separation anxiety, I have to medicate him while I'm at work. So, of course, I can't leave him AGAIN in the evening. (At this point, I thought there was some mistake or the bad labs would just 'work themselves out'). I was a little naive, so I waited until the next morning to go to the ER... I honestly didn't realize that anything was wrong with me. My mentality at that point was that my health is last. Everything and everyone is more important. I'll be fine. (That has COMPLETELY changed since then).
December 5, 2018 I went to the ER in the morning. I was shocked when I was admitted to the hospital for what they suspected to be kidney failure. I was so naive that by the time they got me to my hospital room, I still had my pants and shoes on (hospital gown on top). When they gave me the hospital menu for lunch, I didn't order anything because I really thought I would be going home.
Turns out my kidneys were functioning at 6%. You might ask - how did you not know you were only at 6%? I have no idea. My doctors think that it was a slow loss of kidney failure, so I was able to adjust. I didn't feel great. I felt depressed and worn down, but I was still working and trying to keep up with my "normal" life. I wasn't able to run with my dog in the morning because I was just too out of breath and I would spend the evenings and weekends resting on my couch... but honestly, I thought I was just getting lazy. I'd beat myself up about it, too.
I spent 13 days at the first hospital. I started off with a roommate (she was the worst). I had countless labs drawn, a kidney biopsy and a bone marrow biospy in that hospital. I was eventually moved to a private room (thanks to my sister...and also my extremely low white blood cells). At one point, I had to wear a mask and all of my nurses/visitors had to when they came in my room. Mentally, that was the worst. I needed to see people smile and the masks just hid them.
Although I felt okay, I spent most of my time worrying and crying. My life was changing in an instant. I thought of myself as fairly healthy. I actually bragged about not going to the doctor. I thought my immune system was solid from years of germy kids. I was so wrong. I spent a lot of time passing the time by coloring and watching TV. Impractical Jokers got me through those 13 days.
I was able to go home but at my follow-up later that week, I was sent back to the hospital for a 3 day stay with a steroid IV. This hospital was amazing. I still felt okay - not like someone with 6% kidney function should feel. All of the rooms in the hospital are private....and huge.
After those 3 days, I was transferred to Cleveland Clinic Main Campus by ambulance (horrible experience). My doctors wanted a 2nd opinion from the best of the best. They decided I had 2 choices - do a 10 day in hospital plasma exchange (with a small chance of it reversing kidney damage) OR go on dialysis. I chose not to put myself through 10 more days in the hospital for a plasma exchange that probably wouldn't work.
I was over the hundreds of blood draws and being in the hospital. If they said I needed dialysis and a transplant, that's what I would do. No sense in dragging out the inevitable. So, I left the hospital a couple days before Christmas with a peritoneal dialysis catheter placed. I didn't actually start dialysis until January 17, 2019. Peritoneal dialysis is done at home, through your peritoneum, every night. So, I needed 10 days of training before I could start.
I was evaluated for a kidney transplant with Cleveland Clinic on April 25, 2019 and found out I was approved for a transplant on June 10, 2019. That's when people could start being evaluated to see if they were a match. My brother in law never hesitated. He finished up LOTS of testing around the first week of September.
On December 3, 2019, I received my 2nd chance at life! I was so calm before surgery. I thought I would feel anxious and nervous. ....I expected to feel ELATED after surgery....
But, honestly, the next few days were the worst days of my life. With the amount of medicine I had in me (steroids are no joke), not the best nurses to care for me (other than Vince..he was amazing), and discomfort/pain, it was hard to focus on the gratefulness and happiness. I had surgery on Tuesday and was sent home on Thursday.
I had so much guilt for even expressing my discomfort. I thought I'd be seen as ungrateful, which was not the case at all. I had always seen kidney transplant recipients after surgery smiling, walking down the hallway with their nurse, hugging their donor. That wasn't my experience. I was an emotional mess. My nurse got me up in the chair on the second day (away from my call button) and didn't check on me for 2 hours. My donor was (rightfully so) enjoying the fancy, high end, special person wing of the hospital (he had filet mignon on his hospital menu?!) so I never got to see him. I guess it's just a reminder to not set your expectations based on what you see on social media. Everyone's experience is different.
After about 4 or 5 weeks I was feeling great. I'm feeling even better now. My brain can keep up. My body wants to move. I don't have to spend hours and hours on the couch to get my energy back. I have this urge to do everything life has to offer - to show my gratitude for this 2nd chance at life. But, for now, since I'm still healing (and very immune suppressed), my gratitude is shown by just living a healthier, happier life every day.
You're probably wondering why on Earth I'm writing about all of this on my teaching blog. Two reasons.
#1 - I want my story heard. I hope that it either encourages someone to go get labs drawn or to go to their yearly physical. If I had done that, I probably would've caught my kidney failure way before I was unknowingly on my death bed.
The other reason, I'm writing this post on my teaching blog is because someone, somewhere might stumble across it when they're having a hard time or going through something that they don't think they can get through. I'm proof - YOU CAN and YOU WILL. It gets easier. It gets better. My life was instantly changed for the worse on December 3, 2018. Then, by God's grace, it was changed for the better on December 3, 2019. One year exactly.
